In life it is necessary to work past the hurt (‘work’ as in therapy terms) but sometimes you have to WORK on days when you just don’t want to clock in. But taking the day off isn’t always a choice even when you own your own business.
Each day I try to live in a positive manner being intently grateful for all the goodness that surrounds me in this life. I have consistently made an effort to construct my life so that I am in love with it. Most days are really fun for me. I have three children that always keep it interesting and I am blessed beyond measure. I have worked hard to get where I am but I try to claim joy each and every day. And most days it is not that difficult to choose to be happy.
So what happens when it is difficult to find joy in a day, or week, or even longer? Life happens as we all know. Things are cruising along and sometimes everything is going so well you can’t even remember what it is like to have a bad day. I remember one time being at church and listening to a sermon where the pastor used a verse (probably from Psalms) where he was talking about despair and crying out to the Lord. And I was in such a good, happy place that the verse and topic felt foreign to me. I was thinking ‘wow. I am glad I’m not going through that!’. Not in a smug way but my heart was just happy with the way life was working things out for me. Of course, I am sure the very next week something happened and I was back down in the pit. It’s just how it goes.
But then there are times when something crushing has happened.
You wake up okay and then quickly remember that life kind of just isn’t okay right now. It hurts. You feel like you have been wounded. Betrayed maybe. And a little lost.
That’s where I am today. I have so much to be thankful for. I have so many new ideas that are coming to life in my business and I am excited about them. But at the same time I want to cry over another part of my life because it just hurts. How can we move on in one piece with these two so very different types of emotion? I think we have to keep on. Or at least that is what I am doing until I figure out a better way. Working through the hurt, I guess, is necessary so we can move on to the good stuff. I don’t want to be stagnant. And I definitely don’t want to move backwards. I am sitting here working on this one exciting thing I have in the works for next year and it is so enthusiastic and inspiring. I love getting excited about new projects and working on something that I know is a good thing. I should be having a dance party right now. This is good stuff here! And I almost feel like a fraud because even though I believe in it 100% – I am not exactly feeling it right now.
So, what happens then? As a professional, I have to keep at it.
When things are going like this, I definitely allow myself some extra self-care. And I know this too shall pass. But I also allow myself to work with the pain, not ignoring it but acknowledging it, and letting my pain know it’s cool and it’s going to be okay again. Just not at this moment.
I read somewhere recently that blessings show up in our life when we keep moving forward. And I really like that. We aren’t blessed because we are so holy, or good, or said a better prayer than someone else. We are blessed when we keep moving forward. So I will keep moving forward.
Until next time,